my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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