Those balls look pretty dangerous.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
