I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
