How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
