Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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