cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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