Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
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so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
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Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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