see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize