theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
