I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
