and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
