how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
