you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!