Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
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She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
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Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer