we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind