he told me I talked like a deaf person
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"