Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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