I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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