but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
