Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
