I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
