through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Come share oat with me in your robe
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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