His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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