my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
