i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just come out here and I will go home with you...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
