Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
