wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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