census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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