I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
