My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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