Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
