Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
