i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize