I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
