I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
