For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
