well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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