Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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