when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We need to feng shui this bitch.
how does that bad decision feel?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
