Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize