The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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