READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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