forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I can't turn off my feet"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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