No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
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Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
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Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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