Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
