how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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