dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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