My pussy is not your playground.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
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"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
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Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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