so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
