its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I can text with my tongue
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
