what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize