His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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