From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
