Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
