oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
