not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
