she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I need to align my fucking chakras
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
