Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
