We're facebook friends in real life
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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