yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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