Too much gin, very little bucket
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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