Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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