Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You left your phone here
Wait...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
