So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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