Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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