you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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