Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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