I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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