I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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