my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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